Childcare - when did you palm off the sprogs?

[ok180]

???

I would ideally like to keep our son at home with mum till he starts school but the reality is sooner or later he is going to have to start childcare and this will likely be 5 days a week so my wife can go back to work. Our son is 8 months old now.

Interested to hear from other people how old your kids were when (if?) they started going to childcare and how you found the experience.

 

[Lil Skater]

I have a 20 month old. He started 2 days a week daycare about 6/7 months ago, being when I started my business. He's now in 3 days a week.

I have one question, what does your wife think? Does she want to be a stay at home mum for the next 5+ years?

Personally I would've started my son off one day a week earlier, mainly for my sanity than anything else. Hubby on the other hand, would prefer he not be in daycare at all. (Hi James!)

I love my son, but I also knew from day 1 I wouldn't be the type to stay home with the kid/s until they went to school.

Personally I think daycare is brilliant (not just for some alone time), but from a development point of view too.

Benji has his "group" of friends he plays cars with all day, since starting he's grown in leaps and bounds and I credit some of that to daycare and interacting with other children - whereas if he didn't have it, he'd be around adults the majority of the time as I don't have many friends with kids yet.

The first two days were hard on him, he cried when I left, not long after he'd get excited. Now he runs around the house to find his shoes, gets excited when I bring out his bag and can't wait to get in/out of the car. He races in each morning, and when I pick him up he usually ignores me for a few more rounds on the slide!

 

[Macca]

In our area most mothers start back at work part time and the kids gradually work up from 1 day a week up to 5 days a week at pre school.

They seem to start that when the kids are about 2 or 3 but many have to go back before that, some Mums are OK with this but others really regret having to return so soon.

My wife's good friend went back early after the first one but is taking a year off then only part time with the second and she feels much happier with the whole thing.

 

[wategos]

Personally I think daycare is brilliant (not just for some alone time), but from a development point of view too.

I agree, daycare is great for the kids and the parents. They get social interaction, lots of different activities and enjoy going there. My kids started at 6 months old, 5 days a week.

 

[ok180]

I have one question, what does your wife think? Does she want to be a stay at home mum for the next 5+ years?

No! She is not a hard nose career woman but she did study at uni for 4 years (we just got her hecs debt paid off, hurrah!) and she has a good job. She gets a lot of satisfaction from her work.

Originally the plan was for our son to start childcare a few days next year. Wife was supposed to go back to work next week and leave him with her mum for now but last week her mother was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer so leaving him with her is now obviously out.

 

[Lil Skater]

So sorry to hear about your wife's Mum.

You both need to be comfortable with the decision, so is it worth seeing if she can do part time to work bub up to full time daycare? Depending on her work, she could also negotiate a day or two at home.

My husband wasn't as keen on the idea as I was, but I think (I hope?) he sees now how happy daycare makes him, and me for that matter.

 

[coolcup69]

We are going through this decision making right now. We plan to put our son in 3 days a week from 18 months and increase to full time shortly thereafter.

We think it is important for his personal development and immune system to be exposed to other kids and a range of other carers.

 

[dan c]

It's something we are also considering at the moment. We have a nine month old (also named Benji !) and my wife has just gone back to work, very part time.

One of those days is Saturday, so I'm in charge. During the week I come early one day, and my mum helps out the other day. It works well for the moment, and keeps our son in the house. (He's a homebody, like his old man.)

For my wife to stretch her work day, we would like to go to a day a week of child care, at approximately 12 to 15 months old. The plan is to start a couple of hours at child care, eventually stretching this to a full day. That's the plan, we'll see how it plays out.

 

[lizzie]

I started Junior at daycare from 2 years of age ... just one day a week ... to give us both a break from each other, and for her to make some friends her own age and built up to 3 days a week before "big school".

We lived in an area where there weren't really any kids her age - or the parents worked so the kids weren't around so she needed the social interaction ... and I am not the most maternal of people, so 24/7 was driving me slowly insane.

I think what a lot of non-mothers forget is that, when the child is there - even if it's asleep or through the night - you are consciously aware, listening, checking, playing, feeding, entertaining, teaching, planning - every single minute ... can be very draining. To have some time when you don't have to be in baby head space is very relieving.

 

[MaggieMcT]

I went back to work after both my muchkins at 3-4 months. I worked shorter hours initially gradually increasing over time. My mum helped out initially with my little girl but both kids ultimately went to daycare and my little boy started at 4 months. This is tough going (particularly when breastfeeding) but it was necessary for us.

The key thing I think is something that is so rarely mentioned in these conversations - the quality of the daycare that you choose. Some of them are awful places, and this may not be immediately evident. If you choose the right place (no pressure!) there is no reason for your child not to be very happy there. But the wrong place can lead to months of misery as you try to help your child adjust and everything is going against you.

Do you know where you will send your child if you choose to use daycare? I found it a bit hard when we moved to Perth to Ireland to adjust to the Australian style but ultimately found two excellent daycare centres (we moved house so have had two) that we have been really happy with. Both are small privately owned daycare centres - as it happens both are cheaper than the larger centres but one had comparable facilities and the second has vastly better than most and excellent care standards.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that daycare for us has been a very good experience (albeit with some tough days), but taking your time to find the right place is time well spent.

Hope that's some help!

 

[luce.rocks]

Our little girl started daycare 2 months ago when she was 12 months. We weren't really considering it until we took a long holiday overseas at Xmas and she met all the extended family and friends overseas. She had such a ball meeting and playing with everyone that we decided to start her 2 days a week when we got back. She loves it.

 

[Cargs]

My son started at about 6 months, my partner works casually so he goes in anywhere from 1-4 days a week. He's 19 months old now and loves daycare, talks about his little friends all the time. I think it's been great for his development, some of the kids in my partners mothers group that haven't been to daycare seem to be well behind with speech, just my 2 cents

 

[Coconutwheels]

???

I would ideally like to keep our son at home with mum till he starts school but the reality is sooner or later he is going to have to start childcare and this will likely be 5 days a week so my wife can go back to work. Our son is 8 months old now.

Interested to hear from other people how old your kids were when (if?) they started going to childcare and how you found the experience.

My 2 cents would be do it if you have to. I've been a stay at home dad since my eldest was 3 and youngest was 6 months.

I was lucky in that I could work in my business at night and my wife went back to teaching. After the first 3 months of "holy s**t, I don't know what I'm doing with these kids, I can't believe my wife left them at home with ME!" I have loved it.....most of the time

If there is any option for your wife to go back to part time, or just school hours type work I'd explore that. My youngest is about to start pre school next term and I can't believe that time at home has passed already

For social interaction, we've had 3yr old Kindy, twice a week for 3hrs, Kindy Gymnastics, swimming lessons and then there are playgroups etc but I never had time for those.

It's a very individual decision, with no right or wrong answer I think.

 

[allsuccess]

It's a very individual decision, with no right or wrong answer I think.

Agree.

We have 3 kids. Home is like a full time childcare centre. Wife stopped working after the first child. She is planning to return to work when the youngest is at school (next year). She's into childcare/teaching assistance work so, it will be (hopefully) during school times.

We are very happy with the decision. When the kids are not well, especially when they are little, you don't have the stress of juggling work/looking after them. Of course, it is at a cost of not having two incomes. Also, for me, while I'm at work, my mind is at ease knowing my wife is at home looking after the kids/picking the kids from school etc. I'm always open to stay home if wife wanted to work.

As some said, some childcare places are pretty bad. I know people who runs family daycare places and they put lot of effort/care for the kids.

 

[KathrynF]

Tough decision.

Kids are all so different and I guess it depends what kind of quality daycare you have available.

We were fortunate to find a very good Family Daycare Operator in the next suburb. Our (now 2 year old daughter) goes to her 4 days per week and has the other day with myself, my husband or her grandparents.

We loved it so much that when a house came available in our daycare ladies street we snatched it. We love Family Day care as I find it mimics the home environment fairly well. Plus, it's a lot smaller. One carer is allowed a maximum of 4 children so I find it's more personal.

Additionally, our daughter did a stint in a centre and they were so unflexible and it seemed that every day when we dropped her off, there was a new face and it just made me feel really nervous.

During the day, I get photo's and text messages from our carer. Plus if I'm running late, either because of work or traffic, my carer is okay about it.

I could not recommend Family Daycare enough but once again, it totally depends on what is available in your area.

Also, our daughter started at daycare around 3 months but only 1 day per week.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I believe that daycare is good for kids and they learn a lot. My daughter learned how to punch... but she has also learned much nicer things too. Eek.

 

[Scott No Mates]

+1 stopped work @ 3 months into her pregnancy. Hasn't looked back. Kids are 10 shortly.

They started preschool 2 days when they were 3 yrs old.