Engagement ring conundrum

So I have been with my girl for over 4 years. We met at work (no longer work together). We have lived together for the last 2 years in a house we bought jointly. We have discussed marriage, kids, our future and what not both directly/indirectly and have also discussed my asking the question (or more like getting hassled for taking so long ).

For the last 12 months or so she has had her heart set on a 'Hearts on Fire' diamond ring from Grahams. It is a particular brand of jewelery that is exclusive to Grahams (in Australia). We went into the store and they gave us the booklet and showed her the rings and pulled out this little hand scope thing to put over the ring to see how great the sparkle is rolleyes. She liked one that was $1799 at the time. She has given me the line 'Don't bother asking the question if it's not a Hearts on Fire' in a semi-joking fashion.

I have since been into the store and had another look and the prices have gone up (due to US/AU exchange rate according to the store), the $1799 ring is now $2150 (.3 carats) and I had a good look at it and to be honest I don't think it's that nice a ring (diamonds don't go as far around the ring and they are small). They had another one, which was a similar design, but larger diamonds that went further around the ring for $4175 (.75 carats).

I had a look in Shiels and they also have an 'exclusive' rolleyes range called Flawless cut, which appears to me to be much better value. For a design very similar to the $4175 ring at Grahams I can get one for $1800 (It's only .5 carats and not quite as dazzling, but much nicer than the $2150 HoF ring). For $4175 at Shiels I could buy her something that would blow her away.

Here is the conundrum. I don't really want to spend $4k on a ring (I have the cash, I just can't justify it). I had initially thought around $1500, but I would be comfortable spending a little bit more $1800-2200. I could get her the $2150 ring from Grahams, but to be honest I don't think anyone would be that impressed with it, even if she told them it was a Hearts on Fire. The $1800 ring in my eyes is the nicer ring, the better deal and would impress her more if she didn't know which store it was from.

I was thinking I could get the Shiels ring and put it in a Grahams HoF box, but I wouldn't want to get caught .

Any thoughts?

Contemplate buying a nice loose single 35 to 50 pt diamond and have it set to the style the Mrs likes.

You will usually get something thats quite stunning compared to the commercial stuff at most of the jewellery chains.

50 pts of smaller diamonds around a ring for x dollars is often poor value.

ta
rolf

buy it, my girlfriend says she wants 10k from gregorys... mines very low maintainance, so i thinking its may worth it for me..

if she happy over 2150 or whatever.. i wouldnt be complaining... i have not even looked at these things yet, so dunno the prices, but that sounds cheap..

Have a look online - I know that there is a different jeweler in Canberra who stocks the Hearts on Fire range - so Grahams is definitely not the only ones in Australia.

Also the ring is not about impressing people - its about having something that suits the individual personality. Mine has a small single diamond set in the band, we could easily afford something with more diamonds etc, but I liked this design and got a high quality diamond in it (rather than a low grade retail one). Suits my style and personality.

Hey Mooze

Depending on the woman, small could be 2 carats

ta
rolf

I bought the other half a $US15 sterling silver ring in a chain design from Ebay and he bought himself a nice lockable collar, and I keep the key.

Much simpler and all parties know where they stand in the relationship

I have a $US20 silver ring, but thats just because it is a chunkier ring and there's more metal in it. On the rare offchance we ever actually can be bothered getting married (oh, the horror), or if we get sick of the silver rings (more likely) we'll get some titanium rings in similar designs. While we're waiting, the joint mortgage and the excessively cute combination of genetic material that can usually be found wandering around the house eating cables should do us just fine.

Meantime, go find the same designs from some *other* seller. You could also be really cheapskate and try and get a secondhand one from some poor spurned lady who is disposing of hers in a huff.

Rolf Latham said:

Contemplate buying a nice loose single 35 to 50 pt diamond and have it set to the style the Mrs likes.

You will usually get something thats quite stunning compared to the commercial stuff at most of the jewellery chains.

50 pts of smaller diamonds around a ring for x dollars is often poor value.

ta
rolf

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I'm with you.

I have a few Jeweller mates that work for themselves and do custom work for some of the big names in Brisbane and I LMAO whenever I see what people pay for finished jewellery compared to the cost to make and what they purchased them back from sellers who thought they had an "investment piece".

hobo-jo, do both of you a favour and go and see a manufacturing jeweller and look at a custom build.

May not be cheaper, but should be so much better.

Dave

Just go here......

http://www.secrets-shhh.com/

See if they sell single "diamonds"..........then get a jeweler to set it in the HoF style.

probably only cost you $800 bucks.

Enough left over for a FABULOUS bucks weekend.

Hey,
If it were me i would be likely to stay away from the place that is selling the cheaper one. They don't have the best reputation from what I have heard.

hobo-jo said:

I don't really want to spend $4k on a ring (I have the cash, I just can't justify it).

...

Any thoughts?

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Yeah, I hope your girlfriend doesn´t read this forum!

Joe, this is the future mother of your children!! If you can´t afford it, fine, but if you have the cash and you can afford it, get her the biggest, nicest ring you can possibly afford! Don´t say you can´t justify it! As a rough guide, ring should cost approximately 3 months salary. Show her you saved for it and she´s worth something to you!

3 months saving or 3 months income? and does that include rental income??

hmmm.. im in big trouble, she ganna need a armband strap to support her arm from the humongus diamond that will buy...

lol

The 3 months rule is an old wives tale, probably created by, you guessed it, old wives!

Mate, take the misses to a couple of wholesalers - it's better priced and better quality. You'll end up with a diamond with a valuation of more than double what you pay. Avoid the shopping centres as they light up the stores so that you cant see the poor quality of diamonds they sell.

I just bought one tonight for the misses....0.75 carats, excellent clarity and cut. PM me if you want some info.

Rolf Latham said:

Contemplate buying a nice loose single 35 to 50 pt diamond and have it set to the style the Mrs likes.
You will usually get something thats quite stunning compared to the commercial stuff at most of the jewellery chains.
50 pts of smaller diamonds around a ring for x dollars is often poor value.

Click to expand...

You are most likely right, but the style of ring she likes is not one with a centre stone. I have attached a picture of the style she wants. To be honest it looks more like a wedding band/eternity ring (to me), but the sales woman in Grahams did say styles aren't specific for purpose as much as they used to be.

Mooze said:

Have a look online - I know that there is a different jeweler in Canberra who stocks the Hearts on Fire range - so Grahams is definitely not the only ones in Australia.

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Sorry, meant exclusive in SA.

Mooze said:

Also the ring is not about impressing people

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Tell that to my girlfriend , I don't particularly see the reason behind wanting specifically a HoF ring except to tell people that's what it is. It's not like anyone would be able to tell the brand by looking at it.

luce.rocks said:

Yeah, I hope your girlfriend doesn´t read this forum!
Joe, this is the future mother of your children!! If you can´t afford it, fine, but if you have the cash and you can afford it, get her the biggest, nicest ring you can possibly afford! Don´t say you can´t justify it! As a rough guide, ring should cost approximately 3 months salary. Show her you saved for it and she´s worth something to you!

Click to expand...

It's not that she isn't worth it. It's just that I struggle to see the value in spending it on some shiny pebbles and a pinch of gold. Maybe I could propose with $4000 cash or a 4oz bar of gold, then I could justify it

bah the 3 months salary rule is a crock for sales spiels, I would NEVER spend that sort of money on a ring, we could travel around the world with that kind of $.

I have attached a picture of the style she wants. To be honest it looks more like a wedding band/eternity ring (to me), but the sales woman in Grahams did say styles aren't specific for purpose as much as they used to be.

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If that's the style she wants, get her that style.
I prefer rings of that style myself. Hopefully she'll have it for life, so it has to be something she likes.

I'm not one for tradition, who says it has to look a certain way, it's what it means to you both that matters, not whether it fits what is expected by everyone else.

I think you should go together, she gets to choose but you set the budget.

hobo-jo said:

You are most likely right, but the style of ring she likes is not one with a centre stone. I have attached a picture of the style she wants. To be honest it looks more like a wedding band/eternity ring (to me), but the sales woman in Grahams did say styles aren't specific for purpose as much as they used to be.


Sorry, meant exclusive in SA.


Tell that to my girlfriend , I don't particularly see the reason behind wanting specifically a HoF ring except to tell people that's what it is. It's not like anyone would be able to tell the brand by looking at it.


It's not that she isn't worth it. It's just that I struggle to see the value in spending it on some shiny pebbles and a pinch of gold. Maybe I could propose with $4000 cash or a 4oz bar of gold, then I could justify it

bah the 3 months salary rule is a crock for sales spiels, I would NEVER spend that sort of money on a ring, we could travel around the world with that kind of $.

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WOW... I have that ring as my Wedding ring... To me it is defiantly NOT an engagement ring... BUT I guess it can be what ever your girlfriend wants it to be

That is exactly the sort of ring I would choose for an engagement ring and not for the "impressing" value of it but I don't like rings that stick up and get in my way. That ring I think is very nice.

Look you are going round and round in circles here. I think just get her the HOF ring that she has her eye on. End of story.

I know you need to like it, but really your fiance (to be) needs to be the one who really loves it, so just get her the one she wants. Its not too expensive compared to what you are thinking of paying anyway.

hobo-jo said:

I was thinking I could get the Shiels ring and put it in a Grahams HoF box, but I wouldn't want to get caught .

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If you ever want sex again... I would suggest 'no' on this one.

fokas said:

If you ever want sex again... I would suggest 'no' on this one.

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If he ever wants sex again, he should be saying NO to marraige!

hehehehe

Theres three diff quantaties of condoms...
3 pack; High schoolers 1 for Thursday, 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday
6 pack; College Pack 2 for Thursday, 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday
12 Pack; Marraige Pack, 1 for Jan, 1 for Feb, 1 for March.........

luce.rocks said:

As a rough guide, ring should cost approximately 3 months salary.

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Where did that 'guide' come from?

What if someone unemployed wants to get married (No-one would probably marry that person, but you get my drift).

I say, buy what you think is appropriate.

Regards
Marty

P.S. Why can't the girl buy the guy something expensive for a change